It’s true that OCD is an equal opportunity destroyer. It affects both men and women from a wide spectrum of cultures and backgrounds.
Even its most religious subtype, scrupulosity, is not limited to Catholics, affecting people from other religions and even people who don’t profess a religion at all.
So why do I feel that Catholics need targeted outreach? Isn’t OCD treated with the same methods, regardless of subtype or theme?
It is true that OCD is always OCD, and that it is generally treated in the same manner. My reason for focusing on Catholics is neither that I believe that Catholics are more susceptible to OCD, nor that they suffer from a different kind of OCD, psychologically speaking. It is because I have experienced the way OCD interfaces with our faith, and believe that other OCD Catholics will benefit from help sorting out the effects of OCD from the tenets of their religion.
Scrupulosity is a classic example of this. If a scrupulous Catholic doesn’t understand the specific workings of OCD, the specific obsessions and compulsions, the specific hallmarks of the OCD cycle, then he is in danger of thinking his religion itself is to blame; he might think God really is a terrifyingly demanding judge who is waiting to pounce on the smallest error; he might think that incessant confession or abstinence from holy communion is truly required by his religion; he might actually think his doubts are mortal sins.
As bad as it is to feel doubtful when you know that your doubts are unfounded, it is far worse for those feelings to delude you into believing falsehoods. You cannot begin to combat the OCD if you can’t recognize it.
Scrupulosity is not the only example of this deceit which OCD works on our experience of religion. In my case, another impacted area that is central to the practice of my faith has been my vocation. I have come to realize that my story of OCD and vocation is far from unique. Since my vocation was marriage, this resulted in a torturous labyrinth of doubts and numb, detached emotions. It resulted in a series of failed relationships, including two failed attempts to date my eventual husband.
Until the third and final time I dated him, it had never even occurred to me that OCD might be impacting my vocational discernment. Even after I discovered the truth, it took all my strength and a lot of grace to make it to the altar.
What’s my point? OCD isn’t religion, and religion is not the cause of OCD. However, mental illness attacks the things we hold dearest: for many of us, our Catholic faith is at the top of the list.
It is my belief that, the more we understand the disorder, the more we become free to live our lives and practice our faith as God intended us to do. By sharing an “insider’s perspective,” I seek to help other OCD Catholics sort fact from fiction, realizing which things belong to their faith, and which things are actually warped corruptions of it wrought by OCD.
Catholic and OCD 